Writing a book… wow. An awful lot of good people had been encouraging me to write a book which capsualized my pediatric cancer war diary into a book since Brennan’s first bone marrow transplant in the Fall of ’09. However, had someone gotten the point through to my thick head that writing and editing a book was so arduous, I may have punted. Looking back, I would not trade the experience for anything in the world. I mean this particularly with regard to sifting through roughly 1,500 pages of blog entries, reading tens of thousands of replies to the blog, not to mention Facebook entries, etc. I have been able to reconcile a lot of things in my life. Why did my kid get cancer? Why were we told more than once that he was not going to survive? Why did other kids we got to know and love die? Why is he still here? What happened to my faith? What happened to my old life? What am I going to do with my new life?
Now, with this book on the verge of launch, most of these questions are still open. But I know one thing for sure… I am writing from now on. This book came from hundreds of encouraging requests to write this specific story. Despite several publishers suggesting I rewrite this as “look back,” I was passionately spurred on by many not to lose the spirit communicated through the “war diary” This is what affected my readers then, and I hope I have been able to preserve that it its current form.
Even if just one reader is a dad, like me or a mom like Tara, who has just been told that there is no hope for their child, this effort will have been worth every minute of effort and every tear. Putting myself back in “the moment” was brutal. But it was necessary, both for the book and for me personally. And the fact that St Jude Children’s Research Hospital was not only willing to try when others were not, the fact that they literally kept reinventing the wheel for this one little boy is a story that needs to be told.
So, to me, it has already been a success. I have been granted an opportunity to appease many unresolved emotions. Hence, it deals with a lot more than the story itself. And now I am telling a story that may help thousands, but is certain to help at least someone. That is time well spent.
NTS
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Looking forward to this book and the hope it will bring to so many others
Turner — May I be among the first to congratulate you on this book publishing. I have reserved a single copy but once it lands on Amazon, it may form the bulk of next year’s Christmas gifts. It was inspiring, heart wrenching and tear jerking to read your blog posts over the years. It will be interesting to read your edited version and gain some insight in to your most treasured thoughts during this anguishing period. Your song Possibiities is just great and the video is as joyful as your journey was dark. I congratulate the entire Simkins family for holding it together over the years. I doubt that I would have had the same fortitude but it is inspiring to know that this band of three brothers, Mom and Dad are at all together at home, safe and well……imagining new possibilities that life will offer. Kudos my friend. /Tim Alexander/
What a surprise to receive news of your book in my in box. For some reason, I lost the ability to keep up with your website in the last year. I have kept up with Brennan through a few friends in Augusta.
What a beautiful song and what an awesome testament to Brennan’s journey and all the children before him and those to come. Our family sat around the computer and watched the video over and over- so proud to see Brennan. And my Julia’s eyed just glowed- looking at him – well like she is! We look forward to the release of the book and thank you in advance for putting into words what parents of children with a diagnosis of cancer (or any illness for that matter) feel and the hope that St Jude provides!